I started reading How Do We Relationship? on a two year old recommendation from my ex. It’s really sweet and cute and frustrating and funny so far.

I like that the author wanted to explore the relationship beyond the “they got together! Yay!” usual ending (per the author’s explanation; this is my first yuri manga so I dunno the tropes). There’s a lot of relatable moments, and that’s what I mean by frustrating: sometimes the two main characters just don’t communicate clearly. They hide their feelings or the truth because they’re scared.

I’ve been scared to express my feelings about someone for a year now. I briefly did it in bits last year and we got together, but then a big feeling arose eight months ago and I couldn’t say it then. I gave a gift as a symbol, but we didn’t last much longer after that. And now I can’t say anything because she constantly reinforces one specific message: she doesn’t want those kinds of feelings from me.

And that’s completely fine! Well it would be completely fine if there weren’t mixed messages going on. I laid down a couple boundaries because of that, and those were honored. But lately they’ve been tested. She knows what adjusting those boundaries would mean, I explained it to her.

I’ve never known what she wants with me. She’s always been so closed off to me, which made it so scary to tell her my feelings.

That’s what I mean by frustrating. Saeko and Miwa, in this manga, really suck at talking to each other and being open and honest. And that’s what’s been going on in my life for almost two years now too. Except, Saeko and Miwa are college kids! They’re 17 or 18 years old! In my situation we’re twenty years older than these characters. It’s so frustrating that it’s the same stuff! I’m supposed to be more mature than fictional college girls!

The title is because I feel so seen. I feel like I’m not alone with these struggles. So while it is frustrating to watch similar things play out, it’s also healing to know that this isn’t something I’m uniquely bad at. The author/artist feels like they’re writing this from experience.