Today’s therapy session made me realize that I’m deeply overwhelmed and feeling like nothing is in my control.

Major concerns regarding my health and specifically my brain, major concerns about Olive’s health, facing the fact that Olive is getting old and the anticipatory grief that comes with that, two super leaky windows in the house, forever chores, learning some new terrifying shit about my father, processing everything about my ex, primary elections, constant attacks on transgender people, ICE still out there abducting people, the rest of the fascism..

Gee no wonder right? Of course I’m fucking overwhelmed!

Oh my god the things I learned about my father. Hopefully he never finds me, but like I still expect him to show up in the news one day for horrible reasons..

But also I learned that my gramma probably did not die of Alzheimer’s, which means I likely don’t have that risk factor! Small reliefs among it all.

I really gotta figure out how to relax and rest amongst all this terror and fear.. I’m useless when I’m panicky…